The Friend I Never Knew I Had
by CarterNAbbyInLuv
Summary: Abby's thoughts of Mark's death. CARBY 8 CHAPTERS HERE NOW!! YAY!! ITS FINALLY DONE!!!!!!!
1. Default Chapter

Thoughts Of A Friend  
  
Chapter 1-The Day The Doctor Died  
  
Today, was like any other normal day. I came in around 9 a.m. to start my shift. I hadn't gone out the night before because I had gotten some sleep. It helped a bunch. Work was normal as usual. But there was a void, like nothing I had ever felt before. I had come in, and seen a fax coming from the machine. I had ignored it, thinking it was a chart or information on one of the patients. I went on to my normal business. I passed Carter, he smiled, and that put me at ease. Like it always had before. He was heading toward the admit desk. He slowly went toward the fax machine and pulled out the letter. It was from Mark. He had been vacationing in Hawaii while we all were working so I assumed that it was a letter about his trip, and sure enough, it was. As Carter began to read it, I felt a sense of calm come over me, like Mark was there with us. He began reading.... Dear ER gang, So, here I am, out on the beach at 5:30 in the evening. Elizabeth is sitting with me, drinking juice, but I'm all about the Mai Tais. The sun's going down. Rachel is dipping Ella's toes in the ocean, as they head off on a quest for the perfect seashell. And weirdly enough, I find myself thinking, you know what would make this moment complete? Some jogger dropping to the sand short of breath, so I can swoop in with a piece of bamboo to perform a nice, clean intubation, fix the guy up and send him off with a good, simple dispo. Which I guess is my way of saying that I miss you all and that dingy place. Lots of times I thought I should have chosen a different career, or gone into private practice - something easier, less grinding, more lucrative, but since I've been gone, I realize that outside of what I'm doing right now - sitting on this beach with my family - staying at County all those years, doing what we do on a daily basis, was the best choice I ever made. I know what you're thinking, but trust me, it's not so hard to appreciate once it's over. As much as part of me would like to believe that the ER can't go on without me, a smarter part realizes that you're an incredible group of doctors and nurses, who approach every day with such skill, compassion and thoroughness that, when it comes to patient care, I know my absence will hardly be felt. As for friendship and camaraderie - well, that's another matter. In order to leave, I had to go the way I did, but I wouldn't want any of you to think that that meant I didn't value each of you and the years that we worked together. Or that I didn't have things of a more personal nature to say. Most of you, I think, have an idea of what those things might be without me writing them down, but still... Ella is laughing and waving for me, Rachel's found her shell. As soon as he was finished, a paleness came over his face as he flipped through the pages. I was laughing and joking to Haleh about some sort of nut. I wasn't paying too much attention. Boy, was that a big mistake. As Carter read silently to himself...he had a frown on his face. I thought, "what could be wrong?" Then I figured it out....he was reading Elizabeth's letter. As he tried to tell us what was wrong, he choked back tears as he read..."this is from Dr. Corday." I look over smiling as the thought of the joke played in my head. He continued: "Mark died this morning at 6:04 am. The sun was rising. His favorite time of day. I sent this on so that you might know he was thinking of you all and that he appreciated knowing you would remember him well." After hearing the rest of the letter I went completely numb. Everything inside of me shut down completely. Everything. That day, I tried to function, but just couldn't. I kept busy by filling an IV bag with saline in the drug lock up. Keeping busy made it easy to hide my tears. But I knew somehow I'd lose it later. Why did God have to take Mark? He was way too young to die, he was only 38. Elizabeth would have to take care of Ella. She won't even remember Mark. What a great father he was to her. He loved his girls so much, even Rachel, whom he was distant from at times. If only I had known MY father like those girls knew theirs, I would be better off. I lost my dad a long time ago, I never knew him. Somehow, knowing Mark helped fill the void of not having him around. I felt somewhat needed with Mark around. Susan had asked me if I wanted to have drinks along with her, Haleh, Carter, Gallant, and Luka, so I said yes. What was better than getting plastered to wash away the sorrow I felt? To me, I thought that was the best way to do it. After finishing the IV bag, Susan and I headed off to the Lava Lounge on Damon. 


	2. Dealing With The Pain

Chapter 2-"Dealing With The Pain"  
  
We got there around 10 p.m. I ordered a sacrificial virgin. It seemed to lighten the load of a very somber and sad day. Drowning my sorrows in alcohol helped a bit, but it never erased my pain. After talking for awhile, I needed air. I sat down, and was almost about to cry when Carter walked out. "Abigail Lockhart sits alone", I heard him say. Yes, I was sitting alone, but it wasn't because of everyone. I couldn't get the thoughts of Mark out of my head. He was too young! Carter seemed to lighten the load, joking around and everything and apparently so did the cigarette I had in my hand. A good combination--Carter and cigarettes, they both give you a competitive edge (don't tell him I said that). Once we started talking, I gazed into his eyes. Seeing the pain, I asked, "Are you okay?" "Yes I'm fine", he said. He leaned over as he tried to kiss me. "Oh John, do it, do it, do it! I don't have bad breath, I brushed about three times this morning, and drank three bottles of listerine, I'm totally clean." Oh no, he's backing away! What? Do I have something in my teeth? Maybe it was the appetizer at dinner? Or maybe it was a piece of lettuce from the salad I ate earlier? Dammit. Ooh, let me reach for my compact for a minute." Checking, I see a piece of chicken in my teeth. Good, it wasn't actually lettuce. But yeah, chicken is worse. Whew, I got it. Now John, kiss me. But it will have to wait, he doesn't. "How many lives do you think?" I ask. "About a million I guess." "No more than that." "Forget Superman, I'll take Mark Greene." "Well, if I had known that I would have shaved my head a long time ago", he says.  
  
I look at John, and think to myself, "Ooh, ooh, do it John, do it. You deserve a new look. I'm now doing the cabbage patch, "Go John Carter, get your groove on, it's your birthday, shave that hair, get sexy, take off your shirt, twirl it around, strip for me, get busy, its your birthday."  
  
"Abby? Abby? What are you doing?" "Uh nothing, John. Boy is it hot out here, or is it me?" "It must be you."  
  
(Abby goes back to thinking again)  
  
"Go John Carter strip for me to your underwear coz its hot out here. Go John, its your birthday." "Abby? Abby?. Let's get out of here, please. You're scaring me. Are you drunk? Come on hop in my car, I'm taking you to A-A." "I'm not going. You're not supposed to go to AA meetings drunk."  
  
He runs after me, taking me over his shoulder walking toward his jeep. "Woohoo, this is fun, but oh, I feel dizzy."  
  
(John walks Abby down the street)  
  
"Put me down!" "No!" "Ooh, I'm going to bite him, I'm drunk so it doesn't matter. ooh, I'm gonna bite him", she sings. "Here I go!" "CHOMP" "Eew, I bit his shirt, polyester tastes like vodka and eggs. Oh yeah now I'm totally drunk." "Son of a bitch! You bit me!" "Oh he's pissed. Watch I'll come back with a remark that will knock him off his feet..."You dropped me!" "Oh well, one good turn deserves another."  
  
(Carter and Abby look at each other)  
  
"Uh oh, are those footsteps we hear?" "He won't see us if we sit still."  
  
(They freeze themselves like manaquins)  
  
"Is everything okay out here?"  
  
"Yeah", we both mutter.  
  
"Okay!"  
  
(He walks inside)  
  
"We need to stop at a drugstore and get you some band aids, you could have rabies."  
  
"Uhh, I hate to break this to you Abby, but YOU bit me. You're not foaming from the mouth are you?"  
  
(Abby wipes her mouth)  
  
"Oh yeah! I am."  
  
"Abby, there you go again, making stupid remarks. That was the whipped cream from desert! You don't have rabies. You're fine!"  
  
(surprised) "Yes! I am!"  
  
"Abby, lets get you to Doc Magoos for coffee!"  
  
"Yeah lets go!" 


	3. Coffee And Pie At Doc's

Chapter 3-"Coffee And Pie At Doc's"  
  
Abby: "Oh God, I have to work tonight."  
  
John: "Are you sober?"  
  
Abby: "Unfortunately!"  
  
John: "Then I have enough time to drop you off at a meeting."  
  
Abby: "No, but I promise I will go if you quit bugging me."  
  
John: "You promise?"  
  
Abby: "Yes!"  
  
At that moment, I had forgotten about Mark. But I had Carter. I could deal with the pain later.  
  
Abby: "So, thanks for caring about me. To tell you the truth, it isn't easy doing it alone."  
  
John: "Like I said earlier, "One good turn deserves another." You helped me with my drug problem, now I can help you with your addiction."  
  
Abby: "It's not an addiction."  
  
John: "Oh yeah?"  
  
Abby: "I had A beer. One beer."  
  
Carter: "Yeah, but its not about the one you're gonna want tomorrow."  
  
Abby: "If it means so much to you, I'll stop. I'll go to the meeting if you leave me alone."  
  
Carter: "You promise?"  
  
Abby: "Yes!"  
  
Carter: "Alright, I trust you!"  
  
Carter: "Let's get back to work!"  
  
Abby: "Okay, let's get out of here."  
  
(They leave) 


	4. When Abby Said No

Chapter 4-"When Abby Said No"  
  
(ABBY ARRIVES AT AA, TAKES HER SEAT, AND LETS OUT A BIG SIGH.)  
  
"I'm not doing this just for me or Carter, I'm doing it for Mark too. He wouldn't want to see me like this, all torn up because of him, drowning my sorrows in alcohol because he passed away. So this is the first step of recovery, getting help."  
  
(MEETING STARTS)  
  
Counselor: "Today, we take a giant step toward recovery, we admit we have a problem. Would anyone like to start by introducing themselves and wouldn't mind telling us how long you had been sober?" (Abby feels a great weight lifted off her shoulders as she feels a presence is with her.)  
  
Abby (whispers as tears well up in her eyes): "Thank you Mark. I'm doing this for you." (ABBY STANDS UP)  
  
Abby: "Yes, I would like to admit that I have a problem."  
  
Counselor: "Go ahead sweetie, you have our full attention."  
  
Abby: "My name is Abby, (tears stream down her face), and I have been sober for five years."  
  
(They all cheer, Abby interjects)  
  
Abby: "Wait--Wait! But I slipped a few months ago."  
  
(Goes into telling her story)  
  
Counselor: "Go ahead Abby, continue, we're here to help you sweetie."  
  
Abby: "Thank you. Well, it all started a few months back on my birthday. No one had said happy birthday to me (starts to cry). Not even the "boy" friend I had at the time. Everything went wrong at work. (sobs, then takes a deep breath) You see, it all started with a dreadful morning. I was awaken by my neighbor screaming. She was in danger. I couldn't get back to sleep. Then the only one who remembered my birthday was my estranged mother, who is bipolar. She called. I won't get into all of the details, but I'm glad she did. I was coming down the stairs, and there were my neighbors, whom I hadn't met prior to that morning. They were arguing because it was cold outside and their car wouldn't start. They had just moved to Chicago from Virginia. Her husband was outside, as she tried to offer me a ride. I quickly declined saying that I took the el. As soon as I walked outside into the cold, thats when I knew it was going to be a hard day. You just get that sense. (they all nod) As soon as I got to work, Susan handed me "Icicle Andy", a homeless man who had been a frequent patient. So I went into the trauma room, and that's when the trouble started. As I tried to get a pulsox on him, being that he had been frozen for a while, his finger "broke off." As soon as I saw that, I tried hard not to lose my breakfast. As Susan asked for a central line, a little boy came in looking for his mother. After seeing him, I said, "No, you can't come in here. You have to go back." I was feeling terrible at that point. I hated to be mean. "Where's my mom?", the little boy asked in a panic. "She's not in here", Susan said. "Yes she was", he said again. So I left the trauma to help him find her. I quickly learned that his name was Douglas, and his mother's name was Bea. I quickly handed him off to Frank, and went back to work. What I didn't know was that my day would get worse. A woman came in and she had trouble breathing. Luka thought it was Lou Rawls disease. We both found out that she had been taking fertility drugs. She had started that month. As I was finishing up a trauma I soon found Douglas sitting on a gurney, coloring. Frank hadn't found his mother, so I told him to keep looking. Then I turned around, and got a big surprise, it was my ex husband, Richard. He told me he needed to talk, so we went to Doc Magoos. Thinking he was going to jail, I joked around. But then I found out the reason, he was getting married, and on top of all that, he was going to be a dad. He told me that he had always wanted kids, but we never talked about it. If I had known that, I wouldn't of had the abortion. I headed into the lounge and there they were, Susan and Carter, kissing. I didn't need to see it. He told me he was sorry. But I was upset and I told him that he didn't kiss Frank, the desk clerk, like that. I told him not to sweat it, and walked out. I really wanted to be Susan at that moment. As soon as I got out of the lounge, I saw Douglas waiting in chairs, so I asked him if he was hungry. He said yes, so I had offered him some french fries. He said that fast food wasn't good for him. So he thought about it and accepted. The girl who had problems with the fertility drugs was in trouble, so I ran in to help Gallant and Luka. I wasn't in there but a few minutes, until Frank came in and said that Douglas' mom had died. I had to tell him. I was dreading it. I was talking to Frank, and it slipped out, "I think somebody should come down here and tell the little boy his mother died." Looking over, I saw that Douglas had heard the whole conversation. "No she didn't", he said with his voice breaking. I took him aside and explained that what his mom had is when a vessel breaks in her head. Looking in his eyes, I tried so hard not to cry, so I held it in. He didn't understand, so he asked if she could come home with him. I had to then tell him that she died. He didn't believe me, so he ran through the hospital looking for her, screaming "Mom." I finally caught up with him yelling once more, "She's dead." He didn't believe me and asked why I kept saying that, and broke down in my arms. Later, he was so exhausted, and fell asleep. As I finished talking to Frank, Gallant caught up with me, and asked if we did psych transfers to other hospitals, I asked him why. He said that he had a patient in curtain three with a tiny scalp lac (laceration) from a slip and fall. He was wanting to be moved to a private hospital. I thought this was routine, boy was I wrong. As I walked over to the curtain, I pulled it back, startled. Then I froze. There, I came face to face with Paul Sobriki, the man who had stabbed Carter and killed our med student, Lucy Knight, two years earlier. My heart stopped, I was shaking. Frozen, I stuck Paul into restraints. Panicked and scared, I called Susan into the hallway. Even though he was her patient, it didn't mean that he wasn't still dangerous.  
  
"He's schizophrenic", I told Susan. "He's been here before?", she asked. "He stabbed Carter, and killed a med student two years ago." "Him?" "Yeah." "He stabbed Carter?" "Yes!" "What's he doing out?", Susan said concerned. "I don't know, the police are on their way, but I think we should transfer him before Carter sees him." "No I need to get a CT." "Let him get a CT at Mercy." "He had a head injury." "He stabbed two people." "Loss of conciousness, and he's vomiting. I'm not transferring a man at risk for an intercranial bleed." As soon as Susan stopped yelling at me, I told her and Gallant to close the blinds, take Paul's name off the board, and to not let Carter see him. Then, Lilly said that the morgue was ready for me to take Douglas to see his mother, to let him say goodbye one more time. I went to get him. I brought him to the morgue. He stood back for a second. I was right behind him, letting him know I was there for him. "She looks like Snow White." He moves closer to her. "Mom? mom?", he calls. At that point I think he thought she was going to wake up. He moves closer, this time to her head. "I drew you a picture", he says. At that point, choking back tears, I stood back, trying not to cry, and watched. He tells her a secret and kisses her cheek. I smile, choking back tears once more. As I walked out near the desk, there Kerry was yelling at me. After all this. I was trying to do this myself and Kerry insulting me, didn't help. I needed to go help Gallant with the girl who took the medication, and I wanted to cry after what she told me. I did get pregnant, but KILLED my baby. But SHE wanted a baby and couldn't have one, it wasn't fair. I wanted to cry with her. I wasn't paying attention as I walked to the drug lock up. As soon as I got there, I was about to cry. Why couldn't I cry? I wanted to. I was about to when Chuny, one of the nurses, told me that Dr. Weaver wondered why I didn't call social services about Douglas. I said I would and walked away. As I walked down the hall to use the phone, I spotted Mrs. Sobriki, and she saw me. I went back to the phone. Carter had come to me with a chart, and I kept him occupied until it was safe for him to turn around. But it wasn't. He heard Paul's voice. I tried to comfort Carter, but it didn't work. He turned around and asked Paul, "You're out?" There was a shock on Carter's face, but I didn't blame him. I was scared too. Carter was finished talking to Paul. I saw him frantically walk to the bathroom. Later on, I had heard he threw up. I don't blame him, I would have too. I had butterflies in my stomach the whole time. Later on, Douglas called his father, and being in Austrilia, he was taking the red eye out. He would be there the next day. So I sat down with him. He felt so comfortable with me to trust me. Mrs. Sobriki came over because she needed to take Paul home, and she wanted me to give Carter a note. I went into the lounge, and stuck it in his locker. I had a really bad day and I needed him, so I offered to go out for coffee and pie at Doc's. He declined. He needed to help Millicent. Feeling depressed and on the verge of tears again, I walked out of the lounge. As soon as I did that, Douglas was there waiting with the lady from social services. He ran up to me, hugging me, screaming, "Abby! I wanna stay here!" I told him it was a hospital and he couldn't do much here. "I'll stay with you!", he said with me releasing his hands from my waist. "Douglas, I don't stay here all the time honey, but you can come and visit me whenever you want okay?, I promise. You'll be fine Douglas." He screamed my name twice before he was carried away. As Douglas left the hospital, I watched him go. Not knowing if I would ever see him again. I blew up at Gallant, I was going to cry. I needed to lose my temper. But I felt bad. Walking home, the night was over. Then when I got to my apartment, I dropped my keys. It was my birthday. My neighbor congratulated me, handing me a beer. I was hesitant and declined. But I took it anyway. That's when I started drinking. As soon as I finished my story, I had seen that everyone had tears streaming down their faces. I know what they were probably thinking, "Poor girl, she needs a friend." That was true, I did. I felt alone. "Abby? Abby?", I was snapped back to reality when the counselor touched me on the shoulder. She continued, "I hope this will help you on to the road to recovery. What you did took a big step. We're all proud of you." "Thank you." "Well, meeting's adjourned, good night everyone." As I walked outside, I saw a familiar face. It was Carter. "Carter, what are you doing here?" "Well, I was in the back of the room listening to the whole thing. I'm so proud of you, Abby." "I love you John!" "I love you too Abby!" "Let's go home!" "Yeah let's get out here!" 


	5. Letting It Out

Chapter 5-"Letting It Out"  
  
[Carter and Abby are at Carter's place, they are sitting on the couch, curled up in a blanket.]  
  
(Abby starts to cry)  
  
Carter: "What's wrong my love?"  
  
(Abby smiles)  
  
(She starts to sob)  
  
Abby: "I--I--I miss Mark."  
  
Carter: "Come closer Abby, I'll hold you. Just let it out. Cry as much as you need to. I'm here for you. I know you miss him. I do too."  
  
(Abby cries and lets the tears fall silently as Carter wipes them away. She looks up at him with tears in her eyes.)  
  
Abby: "Carter, I never told Mark how much I loved him. He was always there when I needed someone to talk to. And now, and now... (Abby screams) he's gone!"  
  
(Carter begins to cry, but tries to hide it from Abby)  
  
Abby: "What's wrong Carter?"  
  
Carter: "Just seeing you cry, is making me sad. I can't take seeing you in pain. Mark was everything to me. He was like an older brother. He looked out for me every step of the way. I loved him so much. I never thanked him enough, and now, there's no chance."  
  
Abby: "I went to AA tonight, but all of that was on my mind was Mark. I know it's crazy, but I think he was there with me."  
  
Carter: "What happened Abby?"  
  
(Abby cries once more)  
  
Carter: "It's okay, you can tell me. I'm here."  
  
(Abby moves closer)  
  
Abby: "I uh, went to AA you know, not knowing how it would turn out, but then I felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. Like Mark was there with me. I felt at ease. The week before he left us, and you caught Luka and I drinking, I felt bad. Before the meeting started, I made a promise to him that I would stop. I am going to. I couldn't sleep. I got up, and I was going to call you, but I saw it was 3 a. m., so I didn't bother."  
  
Carter: "I care about you, I was hurting too, so I couldn't sleep either. You could've called. I love you. But I know you know that."  
  
Abby: "I love you too, but, do you mind talking about Mark? Even though it makes me cry. I need to talk about him."  
  
Carter: "No, we can talk about him. If crying helps, then we should cry. There is no shame in it."  
  
Abby: "I feel closer to you than I had ever before. I never felt close to Luka like I do with you. It's funny, you know, I feel much more vulnerable with you, like I can cry, and you just hold me, and cry with me. I never could do that with him, never. That day when Maggie went crazy, and she had to be put into restraints, and called me a bitch, it hurt me so deep down inside that I didn't know what to do. I felt so comfortable talking to you, Carter. That night, being in Luka's embrace, I couldn't sleep, the feeling wasn't there, my mind was focused all on Maggie. With Luka not realizing it, I slipped from underneath him and made my way toward his bathroom. He is a heavy sleeper so, I turned on the water, and began to cry. I was in so much pain, Carter. I felt so alone, and felt lost, like I had no one to turn to. The crying lasted until three that morning. All the good and bad memories of Maggie came flooding back to me. Even the thought of not knowing if she was alive or dead scared me."  
  
Carter: "Well, with me, you don't have to be scared anymore."  
  
Carter: "The thing that I don't understand though Abby is why people we never really get close to die suddenly. It's like my brother, I was close to him, but I felt somewhat distant at times, but then he passed away. Now I miss him."  
  
Abby: "Eric was never close to Maggie either, I guess it was the disease that took her from us. When she was on her meds, it was like she was fine. But everytime she was off them, she was different, it was like I didn't know her at all, like she wasn't my mother. She was a stranger."  
  
(Abby wipes her eyes)  
  
Abby: "What was your favorite memory of Mark, Carter?"  
  
(Abby sits back, listening)  
  
Carter (sighs): "It was back when I knew Deb before she had met you. We were both med students. This couple had come in, and it was a quiet day. They had come in because the wife had been having contractions, and she was about to deliver their baby. But what they didn't know was it was going to be the toughest fight of their lives and the test of their love would prove to be the strongest."  
  
Abby: "What happened? You can tell me."  
  
(Abby puts her hand on Carter's knee)  
  
(Carter takes a deep breath)  
  
Carter (choking back tears): "While the mother was trying to deliver the baby, she couldn't push hard enough to get him out. Mark had to push him back in. The wife kept pushing, but had no success. Her vitals plummeted fast while he tried to save the baby. The woman's husband started to yell at Mark. He was doing the best he could, as a result, she died. Mark tried for hours, to get her back. Everyone stood around watching and hoping. But nothing happened. At that moment, he gave up. Everyone swallowed their tears and had blank stares on their pale faces, each trying not to cry. We all felt bad for him. That's what I remembered him for. Doing everything he could to help people. That's what made him great. What about you, Abby?"  
  
Abby: "Well, what I remember is when I was a med student, he made me feel all welcome. He was the first friend. Even before you, Carter. He made me feel like I belonged there. My first day as a med student was not easy. I was puked on, spit at, and bit. Not fun, but Mark made me feel at ease. Anytime I needed him, he was there. I miss him so much."  
  
(Abby starts to cry again)  
  
Carter: "Come on Abby, put your head in my lap. You can stay the night if you want to, I will be here if you need me."  
  
Abby: "I feel safe here, I'll stay." 


	6. Goodnight My Love

Chapter 6-Staying The Night  
  
[Going to Carter's closet, Abby couldn't figure out what to wear. Contemplating and trying on things, she finally figured it out..his football jersey. Eventhough she was not a football fan, she thought it fit well]  
  
(Carter walks in)  
  
Carter: "Hi sweetie!"  
  
Abby (startled): "Carter! You scared me! I was just trying on something to wear to bed. Since you didn't have any tank tops or flannel pants which I usually wear, I was eyeing your football jersey."  
  
Carter: "I didn't mean to scare you my lovely, but I just wanted to see if you were getting settled in alright."  
  
Abby: "This day has turned out horrible, but it's much better now that I have you. Luka would never..."  
  
Carter: "Enough about Luka, I'm here now, and I will never ever hurt you like he has. I love you and that's that. Do you know that?"  
  
Abby: "Yes I do, thanks for everything Carter. I love you too."  
  
Carter: "Sleep tight, my love. If you need me, I'm here. You know where my room is."  
  
Abby: "Goodnight."  
  
Carter: "Do you want me to tuck you in, sweetie?"  
  
Abby: "Okay."  
  
(Abby climbs into bed)  
  
Abby: "You know, Carter? Maggie never did this for Eric and I when we were kids. She never tucked us in or read us bedtime stories or anything. I'm glad you're here."  
  
Carter: "So am I."  
  
(Abby starts to cry)  
  
Carter: "Now, now Abby..just settle in, you need your rest. I love you, and there's nothing you need to worry about, okay?"  
  
(Abby shakes her head)  
  
Abby: "Thank you."  
  
Carter: "You're welcome sweetie. I love you."  
  
(Carter tucks her in)  
  
Carter: "There you go, all nice and snug. Here? Do you want my stuffed animal to sleep with?"  
  
(Abby shakes her head once more)  
  
Carter: "Mr. money bags the monkey will keep you company. But if you still need me, come in."  
  
Abby: "Okay."  
  
(Carter kisses her on the lips goodnight)  
  
Carter: "Goodnight my love. Remember this...I LOVE YOU!"  
  
Abby: "I love you too!"  
  
(Carter turns out the light)  
  
Carter (whispers): "There is a night light if you need it."  
  
Carter (whispers): "Goodnight, I love you."  
  
(Abby, fast asleep, does not hear him)  
  
(Carter smiles and closes the door) 


	7. Unexpected Visitor

Chapter 7-An Unexpected Visitor  
  
[That night while sleeping in the guest room, Abby couldn't sleep. Crying all night and feeling alone, she needed warmth and comfort.]  
  
(Abby looks at the clock, it is 2:30 a. m.)  
  
Abby (thinking to herself): "Come on Abby, go to sleep. But you can't. You need comfort. Go see if Carter is asleep. He will keep you warm."  
  
(Abby walks down the hall, finds Carter's room, and opens the door. She finds him sound asleep and snoring. She moves closer to his bed and climbs in, startling Carter.)  
  
Carter (awaken from sleep): "What? What? Who is that?"  
  
Abby: "Carter, I need you."  
  
Carter: "Is that you Abby?"  
  
Carter: "What's wrong? Do you feel alright? Are you sick?"  
  
Abby: "No, I'm fine. I just couldn't sleep by myself. I need you. I need you to hold me. I felt alone again, like I did with Luka. It scared me."  
  
(Carter beckons for her to get in his bed)  
  
Carter: "Come on Abby, you can sleep with me. You can hold me. I won't let you go. Everything will be alright. I'm here now, sweetie."  
  
(Abby starts to sob)  
  
Abby: "Thank you Carter. I love you."  
  
(Carter holds her and rocks her)  
  
Carter: "Come closer, you can sleep in my arms. Just cry it out. There, there Abby. It's okay."  
  
Abby: "Why did he have to die? Everytime I closed my eyes, that's all I saw, him or the funeral. It hurts."  
  
(Crying harder, Abby starts to shake)  
  
Carter: "It's okay Abby, I'm here."  
  
(She sobs uncontrollably)  
  
Abby: "Oh Carter!"  
  
(Abby cries and lets the tears fall)  
  
Carter: "Shh..shh..I'm here, it's okay."  
  
(Abby sobs)  
  
Carter: "Sleep my love."  
  
(Carter strokes her hair, wipes away her tears and kisses her face)  
  
(Holding her, she falls asleep in his arms. Making sure she is asleep, he tucks her in gently and closes his eyes with his arms around her.)  
  
***********************  
  
[10:00 AM THE NEXT MORNING]  
  
(Alarm clock buzzes, Abby yawns and shuts it off. Carter is making coffee and breakfast when she walks into the kitchen)  
  
Carter: "Sleep well Abby?"  
  
Abby: (yawns) "Yes."  
  
Abby: "Carter, listen you did not have to help me but..."  
  
(Carter puts his finger to his mouth)  
  
Carter: "Abby, listen you did not have to say anything, we both love each other, and that's enough. What time are you on?"  
  
Abby: "I don't work today. Weaver gave me the day off. Why?"  
  
Carter: "Well, I didn't have to work today rither and I was thinking that you and I could maybe go and visit Mark's grave. I hadn't visited it since the funeral, and I thought we could go together. Are you okay with it? We could say goodbye to him together. Is that okay, Abby?"  
  
Abby (smiles with tears in her eyes): "I'd like that."  
  
Carter: "I'm going to take a shower, we can go after you take one too."  
  
Abby: "Okay, I won't take long."  
  
************************ 


	8. Closure

Chapter 8-"Closure"  
  
[Carter and Abby arrive at Mark's gravesite]  
  
Abby (reading): "MARK GREENE: BELOVED FATHER, BELOVED HUSBAND, DEDICATED DOCTOR. SAVING THE LIVES OF MANY, HE WILL ALWAYS BE IN OUR HEARTS. MARK GREENE (1964-2002)."  
  
(Abby starts to cry)  
  
Abby: "Can I have a minute, Carter?"  
  
(Carter touches her shoulder and kisses her cheek)  
  
Carter: "Sure my love, I'll be right here if you need me."  
  
Abby (looking at his grave, she puts flowers down): "Mark I know where you are right now (sobs), but...I wanted to thank you for that day that you helped me at the AA meeting. I felt it. I did. I felt at ease. I'm telling you honestly, I am going to give it my all. I'm leaving liquor behind (takes a deep breath). I'm giving up drinking. Everytime I think of taking another drink, I will know you're watching me. My friends and family mean more to me than anything. Drinking only made my relationships with them worse. I don't want to hurt them anymore. I know you're not happy with me. But I'm changing my ways. Luka never cared about me, he said I was a big girl, and he was right. He let me make my own choices, and I blew it. Carter looks out for me. The day he saw us drinking, I felt really bad for him. So I'm going to stop. But to tell you the truth (choking back tears), I miss you Mark. I wish you could come back, just because I want to say some things to you that I never got to say to you when you were around. You were like a father to me, but I wish (starts to cry) you were still around. I still need you. I love you Mark. I never got to say that to you (cries harder). You will always be in my heart. I will talk to you there when I need you. I love you."  
  
(Carter walks over)  
  
Carter: "You okay, sweetie?"  
  
(Abby nods, Carter kisses her gently)  
  
Abby: "I'm going to let you talk. Take your time."  
  
(Abby wipes away her tears)  
  
(Carter moves closer and kneels down)  
  
Carter (looks at flowers): "Those flowers are beautiful Mark, aren't they? What I wanted to say was thank you. You never knew how much you meant to me. I never told you, and I should of. You were like a father. I miss you so much, but I'm a better doctor because of you. You taught me all I know. I love you Mark (starts to cry). Goodbye. But its not for ever. I will come and visit you again soon. You will always be with me."  
  
Abby (crying): "I was listening to everything you wre saying, it was beautiful. Are you ready to go?"  
  
Carter: "In one second. (whispers) Mark, can you give us a sign that you knew that we were here?"  
  
(Walking away, Abby and Carter embrace, wiping the tears from their eyes. A gentle breeze suddenly comes over them.)  
  
Abby: "Did you feel that, Carter?"  
  
Carter: "Yes. That's Mark. He finally heard us. We love you, Mark. Rest in peace."  
  
(At that moment, Abby and Carter felt at peace. Abby never went back to drinking. Knowing Mark was watching over her, she promised to become a better person. Carter promised to follow in Mark's footsteps, thus becoming a better doctor. Doing this all in his honor, because they loved him so.) 


End file.
